“If I could erase all my mistakes from my past, I’d also erase all my wisdom.”
After all these years I’m learning little by little that it’s not about blaming anyone for my fall into darkness. After all these years I’m learning it’s about honoring my past and where I’ve been. It’s about taking all that hurt, all that pain and poison and learning to cultivate a more loving future with all the wisdom I gained, its about loving myself and thanking everyone in my past for giving me to opportunity to learn just how resilient, beautiful and strong I am. It’s about self acceptance and self love. At times I’m lost, confused, frustrated and quick to anger feeling alone in my own body. I’ve tried to decipher these emotions and what it’s telling me. I don’t like where positivity seems to come and go in shifts that are never long enough. I want to return to love, I want it to stay, I want to be in love. Not the love you might think that comes from others, but the divine love that only comes with loving myself. A love where I can trust myself, where I can let go and be free. It seems its not as simple as writing a few words, so i’ll bask and enjoy every minute when love comes to visit knowing it will never stay for long. I’ll continue to work hard on turning over the rocks and stitching my soul together, I am dedicated to healing my broken pieces as this is where i’ll find love. I believe in the day that it won’t leave and I can be full. For now, I have more work to do. I have more pain and healing to conquer and deeper wounds that need tending to. I suppose that’s why they say love never comes easy..
